SS Quiz

1. Using Statistics freeware, I am aware that employees of Trotters regularly log onto my blog at work, but always between 7pm and 9pm. Who do you think is logging on?

(a) Someone working late in Trotters IT department;
(b) Hackers who are piggybacking on Trotters' IP address;
(c) Apple Court care workers, who should be looking after the learning disabled children in their care.

2. When Martin Prickface, my son's keyworker at Apple Court, discovered he was being blogged about, how did he respond?

(a) He ignored it;
(b) He complained to Trotters legal team, claiming it was defamatory;
(c) He asked Trotters social services to cancel Marifa's placement at Apple Court.

3. When Chances Manager discovered Martin Prickface was being blogged about, and learned about his aforementioned response, how did she respond?

(a) She agreed with Martin on ever issue;
(b) She was sympathetic with the parents, but could see things from Martin's point of view;
(c) She laughed and said Martin ought to get a life.

4. Nathalie Feckless, Marifa's social worker, rang me to apologise for not being able to attend my son's forthcoming educational review. She stated that she had sent written evidence to the school for the review, but the school had failed include it in the portfolio of evidence distributed to professionals attending the Review, and myself. Why was her written evidence not in the portfolio?

(a) The evidence was submitted late;
(b) The school made an administrative error;
(c) Nathalie had failed to submit any written evidence and had just told me a bare-faced lie.

5. Nathalie Feckless attended a transition review, in which she stated that an invitation to the same review had been sent to Chances respite care, but Chances had failed to even respond to her letter. The Manager of Chances told us that she always responds to review invitations and attends whenever possible. Why did Chances fail to respond to this invitation?

(a) The postman was abducted by aliens before he could deliver the invitation;
(b) The manager of Chances is a liar and never answers her mail or phone calls;
(c) Nathalie Feckless is an inveterate liar and no invitation was ever sent.

6. Why did my autistic son’s social worker’s line manager, Eva Polite, recently draw attention to statements on my blog in order to question my mental health? Is it because:

(a) Social workers routinely inspect the blogs of service users’ parents, in order to assess their mental well being;
(b) The social worker had been recommended to assess my mental health, following a letter from my G.P., or:
(c) My blog recently described Apple Court's manager as socially incompetent, and his deputy as a conceited ignoramous.

7. Before Marifa's first sleepover at his social services run respite centre, the ‘manager’ — Antonio Spineless — made a “solemn promise” that staff would purchase all necessary food items to prepare his tea, supper, and packed lunch for school. When we arrived at the centre, just a few hours before Marifa was due to arrive for his first sleepover, what did we discover?

(a) The food items were there as promised;
(b) They had been unable to purchase all the required items, but asked us if we could supply them on this occasion;
(c) They had failed to purchase all the required items – and we only found that out because we insisted on looking in their fridge and cupboards.

8. Is the kind of organisational incompetence detailed in the above question something we frequently encounter in respect of Apple Court residential respite centre?

(a) No, not at all - it's fantastic, and as that carer said on the phone through clenched teeth, Marifa is lucky to have a place there and how dare we complain;
(b) Okay, perhaps, but it's only now and again.
(c) Almost every fucking week.

9. The unqualified carers at Apple Court make it clear they disapprove of Marifa's special interest in videos. This is thanks to advice from a Trotters care manager, Jackie Leninars, who believes strict and uncompromising limits should be placed on all children with autism's 'obsessions'. What is the basis for the aforementioned manager taking this blanket view?

(a) Jackie Leninars is a qualified psychologist
(b) Jackie Leninars is a qualified TEACCH practitioner;
(c) Jackie Leninars once worked as a classroom assistant in an autism unit.

10. Marcus Prickface, Deputy Manager of Apple Court and Marifa's 'key worker', once described Marifa as "a normal child trapped inside autism", adding that this was his own "theory of autism". How would the overwhelming majority of autism professionals view such a statement?

(a) As a brilliant insight into the nature of autism;
(b) As a unusual but nevertheless helpful perspective on the autistic condition;
(c) As a conceited and dangerous misreading of the uneven profile of abilities in autism, and one more typical of overwrought and inexperienced parents.

11. When Marifa's mother met with Nathalie Feckless to arrange for additional respite during school holidays, what happened next?

(a) Nathalie agreed to grant the additional respite as requested and made all the necessary arrangements;
(b) Nathalie agreed to grant the respite as requested and then arranged for the additional respite to terminate after two weeks.

Send your answers on a postcard to:
OFSTED
Royal Exchange Buildings
St Ann's Square
Manchester
M2 7LA

This Quiz is subject to regular updates.