The Vandalous Candles

The Candle family are a bunch of Basil-Brush-lookalikes who live on our street. This afternoon, while his mummy was sitting in her front garden looking on, 10 year old Lewd Candle decided to scratch his name onto the front wall of our house. The above picture ought to be one for the crap Housing Association, but living as he does in one of the part-buy houses, Lewd's family are not covered by the tenancy agreement which would otherwise see his family facing the threat of eviction for his crimes.

If it was just an isolated incident, a child randomly transgressing the boundaries, I wouldn’t care. But it’s only ever our house. There is a history to this, but mostly it’s because I’m a Muslim, and a wierdo Aspie who wears funny clothes to boot. As my eldest daughter LC explained, “It’s totally playground. They don’t like you because you’re different.” It could be worse, but I gather they spare me because of how well I care for Marifa!

I’m just too tired to bother doing anything about it A few years ago, I would have called the law and layed awake at night imagining them being decapitated in turn. These days, I’m wise enough to watch Lewd push the limit until my neurotypical partner JC sees red. It’s extremely rare to see JC in flames, but when she does, run! Her envenomed tongue spits justice at its most toxic. Thus enraged, she intuits a person’s sensitivity with the aplomb of a merciless politician. I’ve literally seen people stumble back aghast as she strikes home. And the person on the other end invariably deserves it.